Technology:
First and foremost is technology. In today’s society, it’s so easy to get your hands on latest tv shows, anime, manga, games, music, movies, and software applications without ever paying a penny that you should be paying. The methods are as simple as clicking by using websites to stream things or bittorents/websites to download or going to certain black market stores to purchase or even ripping these things from a friend who has purchased this. I find that all of these things are stealing. When you look at the fundamentals of this action you are taking something that isn’t yours from someone who put effort in creating and deserves reimbursement yet you decide not to. What gives the person the right to be able to share these things with the public? There have been applications such as napster and limewire and others but where are they all now? Lawsuits have been thrown at them one after another for infringement and such. If its so illegal that they are getting sued for doing such a thing, what makes it okay for you to be using it? Just to let you know, even ripping a CD from a person is the same as using Napster and Limewire. It’s still a Peer-to-Peer format even if it might not be as public domain and publically accessed as those applications. My thoughts in general on technology is if you are not directly accessing these things from the source (such as purchasing or streaming from networks that have purchased the shows or using the actual youtube channels of the artists that you listen to or etc.) you are in yourself stealing from these people/actors/creators/singers/etc and directly encouraging this action of theft to be done (even if you say you want to purchase the show after and thats why you are watching it from megaupload or whatever first).

Alcohol:
Let’s just put down this verse right now and base my thoughts on this. Romans 13:1-3 says “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.” Skipping to v5 “Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.”

I do not care what the drinking age is where you are from or what it was before or whatever…. OBEY THE DRINKING AGE THAT IS ESTABLISHED WHERE YOU ARE. No ands, ifs, or buts. If you are disobeying this law, you are rebelling against the authority that God has instituted. I find that people use excuses all the time, and I have used them too, but really who are you trying to fool? You can fool other people and try to justify yourself in your actions but you can’t fool God. Is you living at God’s standards more important or you saying that God should have His standards to live for us more important? Are you trying to live in the grey area that pleases MAN and yourself while trying to please God?

Another verse is Romans 14:19 and 21 “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification… It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.” How can you drink underage and be an example to a fellow brother/sister in Christ that might not be as strong in their faith and not fall into the same temptation? How can you say you shouldn’t when you do it? How can you be an example to non-Christians while you partake in what they partake in? You present a message with your actions just as much as you do with your words.

The grey area:
I do not believe there is a grey area in anything. As I said before what are you trying to accomplish with living in the grey area? Are you trying to please yourself while calling yourself a Christian? I’m sorry to be blunt but I call that being a hypocrite. Are you living at the God’s standards calling it yours or are you living at your standards calling it God’s?

The reason why I have such strong beliefs as this is because I myself have done all of these things ages ago. I understand these things and the mindset that comes with it. I’m in no way perfect (meaning I have fallen in these areas before) and I am always trying to uphold integrity and always open for someone to show me where I haven’t been.

If you would like to talk to me more about these things (whether edifying or not or just want to know more about this) or pick my brain for my other opinions, email at michaelquach777@gmail.com with subject title where’s the integrity.

God bless!
-Michael Quach

First of all, I wanna say that if you are reading this and find something wrong biblical please feel free to contact me via email at michaelquach777@gmail.com in order to correct me in my understanding of God’s word and in order to correct it here such that others may have the correct understanding.

This very long blurb will be my post-thoughts of the devo time I spent with God and also for you to see what I’ve been dealing with and maybe a step to seeing if God is truly calling me to pastoral work after I graduate from university (if I ever graduate from university but that is another story for another time).

All passages are written from the NASB edition.
As I read the words that Paul wrote to the Corinthians “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor the drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you;“, I stopped and had to let this sink in. Rereading this a few more times, I had to make sure I understood the scope of this picture that is being painted. For those that are reading this and might not understand the words that are being used (that’s okay since I didn’t at first), let’s break it down. Fornicators are people who have sexual intercourse before marriage, Idolaters are people who worship an idol (that isn’t God), Adulterers are people who have sex with a married person or the married person having sex with someone who isn’t their spouse, Effeminate is basically a man being feminine (whether it be traits, tastes, habits, etc.), Homosexuals are people who have sexual desires or behaviours towards someone of the same gender, Theives are people who steal, Covetous is basically greedy, Drunkards are people who habitually/frequently drinks, Revilers are people who speak with hatred/anger/contempt/disdain/scorn/etc., and Swindlers are people who cheat others out of their money. Some of you may be looking at this list and say “Sweet, I’m not any of these so I’m good” but this is just a small portion of the list that separates us from God (again I am sorry as this is another chain of thoughts for another time).
Think about your life right now and what makes your day run or the “moment” in time you are currently in. From the moment you wake up to the moment you sleep, how do you spend your time? Are you currently working? Do you see a co-worker who has a better car or looks better off and wish that you had the same pay grade as him/her or do you work as many overtime hours as possible so that you can have a few more dollars in your pocket at the end of the month? Do you spend your time with friends or that “special” someone? How often are you thinking about them or holding them dear or even looking to impress them as much as you can because you want to be in a relationship with them and just love that idea of a relationship? If you can see what I just did right there, I pointed out being covetous and idolatry. Sometimes we are so blinded by our own ambitions… by our sinfulness that we don’t see our sinfulness. We try to sugar coat things… to accept the “grey” area between the black and the white but really there is no grey area in God’s eyes. There’s God’s way or the sinful way. I admit that I thought I would never have idols in my life aside from God as an idol but this year has proven me wrong. I held certain friendships too close and when things came apart I was completely broken. I didn’t want to turn to God because I questioned why He could let such a thing happen. I didn’t want to turn to any of my friends because it was friends that hurt me in the first place. I had no where to go and all the anger and frustration in the world. It wasn’t until I realized that I had this idol in my life… until it literally tore me away from God that I could see another aspect of who I really was. Now that I understand this sinfulness… where do I go from here..?

Moving on in the passage:
“but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God”. I read this passage and I knew what Paul was saying. To get a deeper look into it, I decided to read John MacArthur’s commentary which says Though not all Christians have been guilty of all those particular sins, every Christian is equally an ex-sinner, since Christ came to save sinners. Some who used to have those patterns of sinful life were falling into those old sins again, and needed reminding that if they went all the way back to live as they used to, they were not going to inherit eternal salvation because it would indicate that they were never saved. I read some more of the commentary and this is what it says about washed, sancitified, and justified respectively. “refers to new life, through spiritual cleansing and regeneration”, “results in new behaviour, which a transformed life always produces. Sin’s total domination is broken and is replaced by a new pattern of obedience and holiness. Though not perfection, this is a new direction”, and “refers to a new standing before God, in which the Christian is clothed in Christ’s righteousness. In His death, the believer’s sins were put to His account and He suffered for them, so that His righteousness might be put to an account, so that we might be blessed for it”. For those that are Christian, you all understand the gospel. For those that aren’t, the basic gist of the story is that Christ died to save all sinners that accept Him as Lord and Saviour (please feel free to email me if you wanna know more). The interesting part that I saw were the three points and how MacArthur explains them makes it even more interesting. Jesus Christ’s death and the Holy Spirit gives new life that results in a new behaviour that gives us a new standing before God. The sin that separated me from God… that made me feel ashamed has been washed away and I can stand in the presence of God. What a powerful image there.

As for the last part of the passage:
“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything. Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body. Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says “The two shall become one flesh.” But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.”

So many thoughts popped into my head while reading this last part of the chapter and there are so many points that Paul points out with just this 8 verse passage. The main thought that I got out of this passage is the warning of abusing God’s grace by continually sinning. JMac’s commentary says that “Sin has power and no sin is more enslaving than sexual sin. While it can never be the unbroken pattern of a true believer’s life, it can be the recurring habit that saps joy, peace, usefulness, and brings divine chastening and even church discipline. Sexual sin controls, so the believer must never allow sin to have that control, but must master it in the Lord’s strength.” How this is so true and I speak from experience to some degree. Just the battle of mastering sexual sin is so great and many times I have failed the battle. This has been a controlling sin in my life but I am glad that I can master this with the Lord’s strength and that any challenge with sin can be mastered with the Lord’s strength. God doesn’t just tell us that we are a sinner. He gave us a way to see our true selves and the way to turn away from that old life and walk towards a new one. The battle is not going to be easy… it definitely will be a struggle but with the Lord’s strength you can overcome it. Finally, I just love the last part of this chapter. “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.” He doesn’t say linger, play with the line, play in the grey area, he says FLEE! RUN AWAY. Do not even go near it to be slightly tempted. Whether your sin is sexual or part of the list or something else, there is no grey. There is BLACK and WHITE and Paul says to FLEE from the black and that you can rely on the Lord’s strength to help you flee and be the master.

I’m gonna cut it slightly short here since its almost 4 in the morning. If you want to talk some more whether it be about what I wrote or the other thoughts that I have for this passage. Feel free to email me. If you are a Christian, hopefully this can give you a small insight on just how much more meaningful and powerful and deeper God’s word is.

Goodnight and God bless,
Michael Quach

*sigh* everything seems a mess…

I’m being drained but I’m also seeing God work in my life a lot more and that in itself has been spiritually refreshing. He has been giving me water for my soul through this. I’m thankful for what He continues to do in my life and to what He shows me.

One thing for those out there: please pray for my dad right now. He might have to go to Japan for work on monday and be there for a week. I’m not 100% sure on what will be happening. If he does go, please pray that God will be with him and protect him. Thanks

God bless.
-Michael Quach

One thing though… All I wanted was a hug from you. I think that would have been the best birthday gift. Something so simple yet something so meaningful to me. Don’t think you’ll ever get to read this but o well.

So honestly, I wasn’t excited to go to retreat this year. As the date drew nearer, I started to think that I didn’t want to go. I’m not sure if it due to me knowing how much school work I had before the retreat so I was unable to think about it, if it was me just trying to get back from the spiritual low I was previously on, or maybe it was the bittersweet feeling that I should have already graduated now but I got to go to retreat again. Whatever the reason was, I am definitely thankful and happy that I did attend this year as God has blessed me so much during this retreat… as I said before in more ways than one and in very unexpected ways. I think the first way that God blessed me was even before retreat started.

On the Thursday before winter retreat, I was talking to my ex-roommate over msn. Just talking to him about my ministry and how I felt lost without a car. The words that came out was along the lines of how my car was a huge part of my ministry such as driving people around no matter how late it ever got, going grocery shopping for my housemates so that they wouldn’t have to, going around to have quality time with people, driving to and from church events, etc. I also shared with my friend how useless I felt without the car and also how, inside, I blamed myself for the car crash. Thoughts such as “if only I left a few minutes later, if only I decided to just stay home and not go out, if only I turned right at the traffic light instead of going straight, and if only I went faster through the traffic light” have been going through my mind from time to time since the accident. Through this conversation and through an hour or so of meditating on His word and praying, I came to realize that I never prayed to God about this. Don’t get me wrong, I was thankful that the accident wasn’t any worse and I prayed to Him thanking him for that blessing but I never prayed about this internal struggle that I had. I realized that my focus wasn’t on God… it was on the car. I lost sight of God and what I was doing due to a blessing that God gave me (the car) being taken out of my life. My focus was the car and I forgot the true purpose of my ministry. Mainly it is God but it is also to spread the self-sacrificing/selfless love with those around me in whatever way I can. I came to God that night to lift up the distraught I felt due to being car-less and to lift up my focus on the material things (to not be materialistic). After praying this, I felt a lot happier and a lot more care free. It seemed like ages since I was like this inside and I was glad. This carried on over the Friday while I did my exams. I did my best and I was truly happy with what I did. Whether or not I did poorly in my exams, I did my best and that has given me peace.

As winter retreat came, I was slightly excited to be on my way. Hoping that this retreat would allow me to refocus my eyes on God, to be filled anew, to reclaim that passion I once had and the first night started it all. As we were sharing our testimonies in our small groups, I came to see how God continues to work in other people’s lives. How He approached everyone in a different way but always ended with the same result =). As I was sharing, I realized that not one person knows my FULL testimony from beginning to end. Probably bits and pieces or the majority of it but not everything. So the next post will be my full testimony for anyone who wants to read it. I’m always happy to hear other people’s testimony and to share mine because its one of those things where you are expressing true openness without realizing. Openness of how you became to know Christ as your personal saviour and how He has been working in your life. Such a simple question with a very deep answer whether or not you realize it or not. Also, for some reason, I always tear when sharing my testimony and this time was no exception. I guess it’s just how touched and blessed I always feel to see how God has been in my life.

The three sessions that we had left huge marks on me at the end of it. The title of each sessions were “What is Taking up Our Cross”, “Life of a Cross Bearer”, and “Living the Impossible Life”. I won’t be going through the whole session for each one but I’ll give the points from each one that impacted me. The first session talked about the cost to follow Christ, giving up the things in our lives to become a Christ-follower/disciple and the price we have to pay to move from one kingdom (of the earth) to another one (God’s kingdom). It’s funny because one of the costs that was talked about was materialism which I discovered was still a big part in my life on Thursday. I really saw God giving me that wake up call in that aspect and how much I needed to lift that up even more than what I already was doing prior. The two other items that I feel I need to lift to God under-arches temporal pleasure/happiness. One of the items I’ve been trying to deal with, for awhile now and it’s been getting better, is simply lust and the dangers and damage it does. The other item is holding onto worldly concepts and finding true satisfaction in that instead of focusing on God and having Him as the centre point in my life.
The second session talked about what the Christian life entails and the “signs” of a Christian life. Going through the seven points: 1) growth in the fruit of the Spirit, 2) a compassion for people, 3) a good steward with everything, 4) reveals Jesus as your centre value/worth, 5) living without fear, 6) stream of living water flowing from you, and 7) recognition that you are living an impossible life that you cannot go through yourself. I see which points that are present in my life and which points I still need to improve or even which points are missing. After thinking about it for some time, I can say that I LOVE the work that God has been doing these past few years and I am very thankful for how I reflect Christian life by how much I have grown in the fruit of the spirit, how much compassion and love I have for people, how much I try to keep him in the centre of everything I do, and how much I recognize that He is actively working in my life and how much I need Him to continue on.
The final session was about living the impossible life and ways on how to live this life. The methods on how to live by the power of the spirit was what really got through to me for this. Living through prayer, meditation on scripture, fasting, in community, using discernment between holy and common, and humbly. I think the point that really hit me is that God uses fasting as a powerful tool and that we are called to fast. I never thought of fasting as something I should be doing and how God uses that so that we are able to be closer to Him.

I admit that I have been touched by worship songs and I have even cried when listening to some off of a CD but worship on Saturday evening was a huge changer for me. The worship team started to sing the song “I Will Offer Up My Life”. I decided to read a few lines of the song before coming in to sing just so that I can meditate on the words abit.
The lyrics of the song go like this:
I will offer up my life
In spirit and truth,
Pouring out the oil of love
As my worship to You
In surrender I must give my every part;
Lord, receive the sacrifice
Of a broken heart
**************************************
CHORUS:
Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
To so faithful a friend, to so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
As a praise of Your name
For the things You have done?
Oh my words could not tell, not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart
**************************************
You deserve my every breath
For You’ve paid the great cost;
Giving up Your life to death,
Even death on a cross
You took all my shame away,
There defeated my sin
Opened up the gates of heaven
And have beckoned me in
As I read the lyrics, I could feel the tears. In surrender I must give my every part; Lord, receive the sacrifice of a broken heart is when I started to hear the crack in my voice. Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring to so faithful a friend, to so loving a King? is when I tried to push through and sing but still hearing the crack in my voice while trying to hold back tears. Oh my words could not tell, not even in part of the debt of love that is owed by this thankful heart is when I started to cry and couldn’t even sing anymore. After that, I tried to pull myself together but I just continued to cry during the whole song while walking around so no one could see. This song meant a lot to me after all that I went through recently. I’ve been trying to find my passion for God again after turning my back to Him and wavering around in my faith… how I wanted to offer my life to Him… how no matter how much I can try, I will never be able to praise Him enough for what He has done and what He continues to do in my life (dying on the cross, never turning away from me, always being there for me). It was the first time, that I remember at least, that I ever broke down during a worship song while singing it. I think this song just reminded me of everything that He has done and how thankful I am and also just what my prayer has been about for the past month or so. Thank you God for everything and may you continue to use me.

During the semester of this and last, I forgot the purpose of what I was doing and still questioning why God put me here in my 5th year of university. I also wasn’t sure on whether or not anything I was doing in ACF has helped anyone grow spiritually. Through the encouragement notes, I was shown how wrong I was to have questioned or doubted. The first comment I read pointed out on how loud I was (and the next few that I read also pointed that out) but also pointed out how my joyful spirit has helped encourage them (and so did the next few). There were many other comments such as how thankful people were for me helping them in their lives, for guiding them spiritually, for being a person with such a wild personality that it makes university less awkward, for the encouragement that I give people to continue on, for being a blessing in their life, and even more. I guess the words of affirmation is something I wanted this semester just to boost me up by just seeing that I was doing something right and God put many words of affirmation on my sheet through a LOT of people. By looking at the sheet, I saw that God did put me here in my 5th year of university for a reason and I am very glad that I am back this year.

Finally, the last blessing through retreat was through big group sharing. Sadly, I wasn’t able to hear everyone’s sharing as I was running around trying to clean up and make the cleaning process faster so people could leave as soon as possible but I was touched with the sharing that I did get to hear. Greatly touched that it brought tears to my eyes. Yes, if you haven’t noticed I’m a huge softie and during retreat I’m always tearing =P. What I shared was just how thankful I am for the message but even more encouraged to see so many people (38 people) wanting to get to know God more. Wanting to grow spiritually that they would take the weekend before reading week and devote it to God by coming to retreat. It brings back the memories of how I used to be in first year and just how much I’ve grown due to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ being there in my life and guiding me. The one thing that I didn’t share (due to being on the verge of crying and if I did share I would have cried) was that my prayer for the people in the fellowship, whether they are first year or fourth year; someone seeking God or a Christian walking on the path for awhile, is that they can continue to grow in their faith in a correct manner that is in-tuned with God’s will for them and that is biblically (is this even a word?) correct.

That is all about retreat. I know it was long but this post just doesn’t end there. I find it funny how God works. How He plans everything to unravel perfectly such that events always lead to something bigger whether or not you notice it at the time. Everything works out in the end and it just brings me that much more of an amazement and appreciation of His sovereignty. Through His plan, our hearts are always changed and we always learn more. Thank You for doing this through retreat. I am very thankful for how God has worked in my life so that I can work in other people’s lives and be a blessing. I call myself Superman for a reason and not because I think I’m a force to be reckoned with when playing sports =P. I call myself Superman mainly because like Superman I try to be around for everyone… I try to help as many people as I can… I care for the people that I know and are close to me and for those that I don’t. I try to “save” the day whenever I can. All in all… my strength is not something human, it’s more than that. My strength is given to me by God and that’s why I call myself Superman. I guess through this retreat, I’ve come back to the point where I can continue to be Superman… where I can continue to rely on the strength that isn’t mine and bring back all praise and glory to Him. So thank You, God, for being there for me and for allowing me to be in the lives of so many so that You may be in the lives of so many. Thank You for using me to do the work that You have called me to do, to show Your love to everyone. Thank You for also using those people to encourage me so that I can continue doing Your work. All praises and glory go back to You, Big G.

God bless everyone!
-Michael Quach

I need to just admit my faith is paper thin
I’m feeling so burned out on religion
I say an empty prayer, I sing a tired song
I need to just admit that the passion’s gone
And I wanna get it back
…
Revive me, Jesus, make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You
…
I wanna feel like new, I wanna hunger for You
Bring me back to life like only You can do
‘Cause I don’t wanna stay the same
…
Lord, I wanna be Yours today
…

Dear Lord,
My prayer is to rediscover You. I’m feeling lost and I really need to rediscover You… to refocus on You. To find that passion again.
Amen.

I feel like it’s another time
To jot down another rhyme
With the week I had I gotta express
The sadness, frustration, and the stress
Emotions running deep for those around
When it comes to me I act like a clown
Broken, beaten, and plain drained
Feeling my heart going through strain
No one can tell with my smile
That I’ve been feeling like this for awhile
The touch love of a friend is something I miss
Sadly I’ve been dealing with this with my fist
Don’t know why I let it affect me so
It’s not a thing that I know
I swear Imma break in more ways than one
Sadly the people I turn to is none.
Why o why is this so hard
I wasn’t even caught off-guard
There’s so much more to say
but I think I’m done for today

So as most people that know me, know that I have a heart for others. To talk to them, to see how they are doing, to care for them, to help them, to just be there for them. With that, I’ve been having lunch meetings with people from the fellowship just to see how they are, to see what they think about acf or how acf has been “blinded” in areas of improvement and to spend that quality time with them. That being laid in my heart and spending a lot of time (and money), I never realized how it could wear a person down. I think what really pushed me to feeling burnt out was just helping a friend on over the weekend (staying up til early hours in the morning) talking and just trying to help her. After realizing that this area is too sensitive for me and that I shouldn’t be dealing with it, it’s been passed on to someone who can help her yet I, most definitely, will still be praying for her.  Just feeling so spiritually tired and drained from the weekend that I started off the week already tired which was bad to what has yet to come.

Since I spent most of the weekend helping others, I wasn’t able to work/concentrate on my own school work. I have a huge assignment due on friday and I’m very scared that I will not be able to finish it by then and that I could fail this course (assignments build on each other, so if i don’t get this working then my future assignments can only be as good as this part). Just trying to deal with this and to get back into computer science mode, since I haven’t programmed assignments and such for a very long time, which is completely different from working in the work field because at least you’ll have certain outlines of everything working and you just gotta improve stuff or what not. With this dawning on me, I felt even more stressed and frustrated.

Moving on, something happened this week that I expected to happen but still sad that it happened. I think everything before this event pushed me over the breaking line yet I didn’t wanna break. Now, I’ve definitely broke. After talking to people, trying to deal with it, I’ve come to good terms. Still feeling extremely stupid, utterly broken, stressed, frustrated and sad/depressed, I think I’m okay or at least that’s what my mask is saying to everyone else. (Yea I know you are saying “Finally I get to the point of this rant”). I’m tired of putting on this mask that says I’m okay when I really am not. I think I’ve put it on so much that I dont even know when it’s on sometimes. When I feel like there’s so many people in my life, I feel that that’s when I’m most alone. It’s funny because I will always be there for anyone who needs a shoulder to cry on or just a friend but where is that person for me? Where is my shoulder…? Where is the person that I need to just give me a hug… to just let me know that they are there for me? Everyone is telling me to look to God, that God satisfies and that He’ll help me through this. I understand that and I am doing it. I guess with the whole “love language thing”, that one hug means a lot or even having someone just sit with me and ask me how I’m doing. The question I ask myself sometimes is does caring for others mean that I’m cared for myself…? When will it be my turn? As I said before, just gotta deal with my school work first. Time to put on my mask again, do what I have to do, and then deal with everything later.

God bless
-Michael Quach